Put on Your Tin Hats, Aliens Are Here

The following is an excerpt from a paper I turned in to my English 105 professor. He seemed pleased, I think.

You pass an alien every day, as casual as you please, oblivious to their disguise. It is true, reader; aliens are among us. They study us, watch us, and kill us. The government can only do so much to appease the mob of aliens, can only do so much to cover up their existence, and can only incarcerate the few that cannot be allowed to roam any longer. Area 51 is clearly a jail for such a creature, despite governmental claims of “aircraft test fields” and “innocent nuclear tests,” and we can see the truth behind the lies. Aliens reside on the earth, the government is covering up their existence, and a larger conspiracy concerning the origins of humans themselves is brewing beneath it all.

alien_1931882c
hey lil mama let me invade your planet

Something is keeping (or attempting to keep) the wool over our eyes. No longer can I stand by and watch citizens trust a neighbor, a superior, or even the government! It must end now, starting here. I’m serving truth up fresh from this point on.

Plain and simple, extraterrestrials have been visiting our planet since the dawn of man. It has not gone unnoticed, despite what some may say. There have been cover ups upon cover ups, but still, those who know the signs can see what slips through the cracks. When a true believer takes findings public, they often become the laughing village jester for the day, month, year, or lifetime. When rational people dismiss cold hard facts, simply unable to believe, that is a sure sign of governmental influence. There are many motives for the government to cover this up. However, only a few are pertinent enough to our study to be worth mentioning.

The government has to save face. If the general public were ever to believe that the man in the oval office has been sanctioning abductions or even encouraging them, the people would lose faith in the head of state, and a mob would likely call for his head to be placed on a plate. Not only that, the aliens might be applying pressure to our dear congressmen, making them abuse the tax purse. Money out of our own pockets is being used not to protect us—quite the opposite, in fact. These aliens could possibly be demanding human test subjects and equipment that the government supplies out of fear.  There might be some attempt to exchange technology for resources, even if said resources require human skin and bones.

To keep truth seekers at bay, the government often commissions work to be done and published to disprove any evidence of aliens. Ha! As if fourteen or twenty studies held by multiple different organizations will sway us from the truth. Still, this skepticism is a strong ally to keep any space invader under wraps. The “lack of evidence,” as some may call it, is hardly grounds for dismissal. The government is the very reason there are so little “undeniable” facts, with the mysterious bases and suspicious radio frequencies, all wrapped up tightly behind barbed wire. The closed off vibes these military operations secrete only confirms that there is nothing good going on behind those scary machine guns. Brute force is not enough to deter the more dedicated logician, so a devious type of psychological warfare is deployed on she who sticks her nose where it does not belong— doubt. Surrounding our beloved truth seeker are those who deny her beliefs and wish to make her shut up.

 

LOL I just had a lot of fun with this, and it definitely helped me cultivate my voice. This is about 1 1/2 of the 6 page paper.

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